As the final and ONLY season of Trigun ended, Vash & company find themselves out of work and low on cash. With one last desperate attempt to salvage their acting careers and only one hope (or better said only one person left who would hire them) the Trigun cast are forced to take in side jobs working for the Lady Demonica Play Productions.
Director Momo: Okay people quiet on the set!
Meryl: Has it really come to this? I spend years following this idiot around in the desert just so I can be laid off when the job is done. Backstabbing Bernardelli Insurance...........
Censored grumbling
Milly: Well I guess they werent too happy that even though we followed Mr. Vash around we never actually managed to prevent him from causing any destruction.
Meryl: hits Vash in the head Your the one to blame!!
Vash: Hey I didnt ask you to follow me around, its not my fault you got fired!!
Meryl: Cant your ever take responsibility you irresponsible JERK!!!
Vash: But-but I was the victim here!!
D. Momo: Waah, Waah, I can hear the violins playing you sob song. Now will you two stop bickering like an old married couple! We do have work to do!!
Vash and Meryls faces turn as red as Vashs coat
Meryl: Get real! As if I would ever marry this childish, irresponsible, ovesexed, good for nothing MORON!!!!
Vash: Well your no pot of roses either you bitchy, uptight, midget!
Meryl: Thats it throws open cape and reaches for her derringers
D. Momo: Those two are hopeless
Milly: They are such good friends
Wolfwood: Um.........right, So director girl what kind of play do you have in mind for us?
Milly: I hope we do Marry had a little lamb
Wolfwood: Um Milly thats a nursery rhyme
Milly: So, whats your point?
Wolfwod: Were doing a play big girl.
Milly: and?
Vash: OWIE!!!!! You just shot me in my freakin arm!!!!
Meryl: So its not real anyways!!!!!!
Vash: I could say the same about your-
more gunfire is heard
Vash: Hey thats a low blow you cant aim your gun there! I need THAT!!!!
D. Momo: eye twitches
Thats it!! If you two dont shape up you all well be performing the Sound of Music!!
Vash/Wofwood: Anything but that!! That Swedish chick is scary!!
Meryl: OK, ok, Well be good
D. Momo: smiles big goofy grin
OK everyone happy faces now and lets get to work!!!
Vash: The director is...........
Wolfood: a little more than super psycho?
Milly: I feel scared all of the sudden
Meryl: Lets just get this over with!
D. Momo: Ok folks the play we will be performing is The three little pigs
Meryl: What!?! I thought this was a serious play production company!?! We should be performing some sort of literary masterpiece such as Romeo and Juliet or Hamlet, not some childrens fairytale! Who are we performing for a bunch of third graders??
D. Momo: Well......yeah, basically, if you havent noticed youre all a bunch of cartoon characters
Everyone: *Sweat drop
Meryl: So its come to this.......
Milly: Oh boy this is gonna be fun
Vash: Well its not the Sound of Music
Wolfwood: As long as I get paid, Im runnin low on cigarettes
Meryl: grunts something intangible
D.Momo: Love your enthusiasm now heres your scripts
hands everyone their scripts
Milly: Hooray I get to be a pig
Meryl: I guess being a narrator isnt that bad
Vash: What! I dont want to be a pig!
Meryl: Why not, you eat like one?
Vash: This is bad for my image
Wolfwood: Awww the poor whittle Vash doesnt want to be a whittle piggy
Vash: Shuddup!
Wolfwood: I can see the headlines now wanted dead of alive the evil crimanal typhoon Hash the Stam-pig
Starts laughing and slapping Vash on the back
Milly: Yummy that sounds like a special at IHOP
Wolfwoood: Very funny, you go Big girl
Vash: I wouldnt laugh Wolfwood, you still havent seen your part yet. Your probably the third pig.
Wolfwood: Looks at his script
!?! Whats the big idea!?!?
Milly: Peeks at Wolwoods script
Wowie now you really are Mr. WOLFwood
Wolfwood: I dont want to be the villain! This is the kind of part you have Knives and Legato for!
Wolfwood points at Knives who is trying to sneak out the door
D.Momo: Well I did consider making Legato be the wolf, but a little voice in my head told me not to and also told me to give Legato his pay early and let him have the day off. Thats funny, why would I think to do something like that........
Looks confused
Wolfwood: Well what about Knives?
D.Momo: Knives is the third pig. Now just get over it. Besides WOLFwood I think the part fits you
Meryl: Well Wolfwood is a shady character
Milly: and his name is WOLFwood
Vash: and you sure look grungy enough to be a wolf
Wolfwood: Who you calling grungy? At least I dont wear pink shirts or tacky belts with pants that are too tight for me like some tasteless pointy hair wimps I know.
Vash: Hey I didnt pick those clothes out!
Wolfwood: my point exactly
D.Momo: Hums the theme to The Sound of Music
Vash: Looks nervous
Wolfwood: Fine Ill be the stupid wolf now lets get this over with
D.Momo: Smiles big goofy grin again Ok folks happy faces now and lets make movie magic!!!
Meryl: Once upon a time their were three little pigs
Milly: Hi Im a Piggy
Vash: very sarcastic Oink, Oink
Knives: Ha! Im still not a stupid human, being a pig is better than that
D.Momo: Stick to the script!
Knives: You dare bark orders at me human!? I will crush you
D.Momo: and I will dock your pay
Knives: Ok Ill be good
Meryl: Anyways the three little pigs decided one day to part their separate ways and build their own homes
Milly: Farewell dear brother pigs
Knives: mumbles under breath about many ways to kill the director
Vash: sarcastic tone Oink, oink
Meryl: Well it doesnt seem fair that Vash gets to talk in his native tongue
Vash: Are you callin me a pig! smiles coyly Well Meryl I only wanted you to be able to understand me
Meryl: Whats that
D.Momo: looks angry OK people!
Meryl: Now the first little pig made her house out of hay
Milly: Hooray, look at my beautiful house of hay, now I will sew a welcome home mat for my new house........now where did I put that needle.......
Meryl: *Sweat drop* The second pig built his house of sticks
Vash: ZZZZZZ
Meryl: I SAID the second pig built his house of sticks!!!
Vash: wakes up What do I need to build a home for? A house would only be a burden to a careless drifter like myself.
Merly: Well it wouldnt hurt if you settled down and built yourself a home like most normal people do! Then maybe youd learn to take responsibility for things such as getting me and Milly fired........
Vash: Oh come off it!! You still havent dropped that?
D.Momo: ER-hum!!
Meryl: And the last little pig, who was much more smarter than his other two siblings built his house of bricks.
Knives: You speak the truth human. I am far superior to you imperfect waste of space humans and my idiot brother!!
Meryl: *Sweat drop* Ok whatever.........So one day after the three little pigs had gotten settled in their new homes a shady character decided to visit them
Enters Wolfwood in a wolf costume
Wolfwood: Why do I have to wear this? You didnt make anyone else dress up!
D. Momo: Because you look Soo cute
Vash/Meryl: muffled snickering he looks ridiculous
Milly: You look so adorable Mr. Wolfwood
D.Momo: Except maybe you should lose the cigarette Wolfy baby, it wouldnt look very good to the kids
Wolfwood: Who died and made you the surgeon general?
D.Momo: I did, and how did you know the surgeon general died?
Wolfwood: I dont think I like you very much
D.Momo: Good, now I know Ive done my job now get back to work!
Meryl: The first pig the wolf decided to visit was the pig who built her house of hay
Wolfwood: Sarcastic tone Open the door and let me in!!
Milly: Oh my Mr. Wolfwood wolf did you come to visit me
Milly opens door
D.Momo: Milly what are you doing!?!
Milly: Well I was going to invite Mr. Wolfwood in for some coffee and sandwiches
D.Momo: rubs back of neck
NO! NO! We all know what REALLY happens at you and Wolfwoods coffee parties and well I would like to keep this play PG 13! Besides Wolfwood is the bad guy your not suppose to invite him in your house. Did you even read the script
Milly: Umm do I have to answer that
D.Momo: Errrr how ever did you become an actor!?!
Milly: reads script Oh my I thought this was PG 13
suddenly slams the door on Wolfwoods foot. Take that evil Wolfwood priest sir
Wolfwood: D#%*&@*! Whats the big idea!?! That hurt!
Wolfwood goes on a cussing spree
D.Momo: Well there goes my hopes of keeping this play PG 13
Vash: You never had a chance considering you hired Wolfwood
D.Momo glares at Vash
Vash: WHOA SCAR-IE your more bitchy than Meryl
Meryl and D.Momo punch Vash
D.Momo/Meryl: I heard that
Meryl: Realizing she was endanger the first pig locked the door
Wolfwood: If you dont let me in Ill huff and puff and blow your house down
Wolfwood takes a deep breath just before he starts coughing and falls to the ground
Wolfwood: How about *cough-cough we cue in some *gasp special effects?
D.Momo: How about you quit smoking first?
Wolfwood: panting for breath Not funny, damn I need a cigarette.
Wolfwood lights up a cigarette and blows a huge puff of smoke which happens to float toward the hay house and knocks it over
Everyone: Nani!?! *multiple sweat drops
D.Momo: Hey whatever works
Meryl: Gasp hold hand over mouth and look scared-NOW-look-WHAT-you-DID the third pig runs away and the wolf chases her
Wolfwood: *Sweat drop* You wont escape
Milly: Milly the first pig runs and hides at Vash the second pigs house, Milly slams door on Wolfwoods foot. Cue lights on Milly and Wolfwood. NOW-you........WONT get ME!
D.Momo: Why are you talking so funny and your not suppose to read that part of the script your suppose to act it out!!
Meryl: Oh sorry I was just reading the script like you told me
D.Momo: Mumbles something about going on vacation or hiring real actors if she had more money
Meryl: So the wolf followed the first pig to the second pigs house
Wolfwood: Open the door and let me in
Vash: Oh now thats an original line!! What kind of chump do you take me for anyways, I aint falling for that line again you stupid stalker, always following me around everywhere. As if its a coincidence that you just so happen to be everywhere I am, get real. Im starting think your out to get me Wolfwood.
Wolfwood: Shuddup Vash before I blow your stupid ol shabby house down
Vash: SHABBY!?! at least my house is a lot sturdier than your stupid broke down motorcycle
Wofwood: Are you dissin my shiny Angelida the second?!?
Vash: Of course I am since the stupid thing is always breaking down which makes me wonder what ever happened to Angelida the first!!
Wolfwood: Thats it!! Takes a puff of his cigarette and blows Vashs house down
Vash: What the hell kind of churchmen are you!?! You just destroyed my house you stupid homewrecker!!!
Wolwood: Yeah and now Im gonna finish what we started back in May city by gettin rid of you once and for all
Vash: takes a nervous gulp Later!
Takes off with Milly running towards Knives house
Vash: Brother let us in!!
Knives: Hell no! Go away!!
Wolfwood: VASH!! Now I got you
Vash: looks nervous Knives quit messin around and let us in
Knives: Chapel! shouts at Wolfwood make Vash suffer for all eternity!! Eat the human first!! Laughs evilly
D.Momo: Open the freakin door! You idiots are completely ruining this play!!
Knives: Fine Ill let you in Vash, but this isnt over
Wolfwood: Open the door and let me in!!
Knives: How dare you fail me Chapel! There is no way Im letting you in you insolent fool.
Wolfwood: Then Ill huff and puff and blow you house down
Takes a puff of cigarette and attempts to blow down the house
Wolfwood: Nani!?! Its not working
Knives: Thats because I built this house, your crummy ol cigarette cant blow it down
Vash: Nanny-nanny boo-boo you cant get us
Knives: Real mature Vash
Wolfwood: Well if I cant outwit you then Ill just have to out fox you
climbs up on the roof
Vash: Geez it sure did get quiet, did he really quit that quick??
Everyone suddenly hears a noise on the roof
Knives: He must be trying to get in through the chimney
Milly: What should we do?
Knives: Has evil vindictive grin on face Lets torch him
Milly: Oh my but wont that kill him?
Knives: If were lucky laughs maniacally
Vash: Now wait a minute! We cant do that
Knives: And why not
Vash: Because.........No one has the right to take the life of another person
Knives: Oh Shuddup with all that Love & Peace bull crap. Ill do what I please, besides its in the script
Knives attempts to light a fire
Vash: I wont let you do that! Its wrong
lunges at Knives
D.Momo: What the HEL-
gun shot fire is heard
Knives: !?! Did you shoot me?
Knives sits on the floor holding his bleeding leg while Vash stares at him in shock
Knives: Did you actually shoot me?!?
Milly: Well its pretty obvious he did mumbles under breath and they call me the stupid one
Knives: I cant believe you actually shot me....AGAIN!! Thats it this time I came prepared
pulls out gun and points it at Vash
Vash:!?!
Wolfwood comes down chimney
Wolfwood: HA! now I got you all! HUH!?!
gunfire is heard
Wolfwood: You shot me you stupid asshole!!
Meryl: You three stop it this instance or youll all get us fired
Milly: Oh my
gunfire is heard along with a loud crashing sound
Knives: Your dead meat Vash
Vash: Cant we all just get along?
Everyone else: No!!!
Machine gun fire is heard along with more arguing and crashing noises
Wolfwood: Eat this!!
Screaming can be heard as flames are lit up in the background
Meryl: Take that low lifes!!!
Wolfwood: Put that down.........wait ARGHHH!!!!
Vash: !?!?
While everyone is arguing D.Momo stands watching in disbelief as the entire set suddenly topples over
Meryl: Look what you did Vash!
Wolfwood: Everywhere we go with you something like this always happen
Vash: Oh so this is my fault??
Everyone else: YES!!
Knives: You will all die now you pathetic humans
Everyone else: SHUDDUP you demented psychotic genocidal maniac
Wolfwood: Maybe if you got laid you wouldnt be so damn frigged!
Knives: hey sniff thats not true at all........well ok..........maybe a little........Whatever Ill kill you all anyways!!!
Meryl: Umm where did the director go??
Everyone looks around confused as suddenly a large rumbling sound is heard
D.Momo: pulls up in a tank Muhwahahaha!!! Now you will all die!!!!
points gun at Vash
Vash: What the hell are you pointing that thing at me for!?! Am I being punished!!!
D.Momo: Hey I figure why not collect your bounty, then I can hire some real actors and Im pretty sure I can fetch a good price for turning in Knives and Wolfwood too
Vash: Cant we talk about this
D.Momo: Muhwahahaha!!!!
Vash: I didnt think so
Wolfwood: Holy Crap!!
Meryl: Now is not the time to talk about your testimony Wolfwood
Wolfwood: Shuddup
Vash: Hey if we can take on Gun ho Guns Im pretty sure this will be a cinch to handle. All we have to do is work as a team
Everyone else: Sure lets do it
Vash: Ready everyone.........LOVE & PEACE!!!!!!!!!!
suddenly stops and looks around only to notice everyone is running out the door
Vash: Looks nervous Later!!
runs away screaming like a girl
D.Momo: MUhwahahaHAHAH!!!!!
In the distance stands a tall figure watching as the director chases down the Trigun cast
Legato: Smiles evilly What a nice show you put on for me my little puppets heh heh heh..............
Keronekosama: NYA!!
translation: THE END!!!!!
